![\"\"](\"http:\/\/muffinbottoms.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/05\/raptornotraptureallblack.jpg\" "\\"raptornotraptureallblack\\"")
<\/a><\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n 1. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>Hold still, I see you have a little bit of Rapture on your chin, I’ll get that…<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n 2. Any good Judgement Day requires a good soundtrack. Might I suggest<\/span><\/span><\/span>http:\/\/www.reverbnation.com\/marcofrucht<\/a><\/p>\n 3. <\/span><\/span><\/span>I wonder if maybe the rapture already happened and none of us know it.<\/span>about 3 hours ago<\/span><\/a> via web<\/span><\/p>\n o <\/span><\/span><\/span>Delete<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n 4. <\/span><\/span><\/span>@MKEIMC<\/a> FLASH – The world ended 4 hours ago in Nairobi. Please make a note of it.http:\/\/tinyurl.com\/TheTheTheThatsAllFolks<\/a> RT<\/span>about 15 hours ago<\/span><\/a> via web\u00c2\u00a0in reply to MKEIMC<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n o <\/span><\/span><\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n 5. <\/span><\/span><\/span>@DanteRoss<\/a> After the Rapture I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll put on my best Donald Trump face, father a love-child or two like Ahnold, and then say, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Winning!<\/span>9:21 AM May 20th<\/span><\/a> via web\u00c2\u00a0in reply to DanteRoss<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n o <\/span><\/span><\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n 6. <\/span><\/span><\/span>@MarcFrucht<\/a> Uh oh, Christian Heavy Metal Band Stryper hasn’t listed any tour dates for the rest of May…<\/span>8:45 AM May 20th<\/span><\/a> via web\u00c2\u00a0in reply to MarcFrucht<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n o<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n 7. <\/span><\/span><\/span>Some Hopi Elders say there’s little worry if you’ve been “good,” it’s more like Spring coming!\u00c2\u00a0http:\/\/www.tinyurl.com\/springtocome<\/a><\/span>8:14 PM May 19th<\/span><\/a> via web<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n OK, Aukland, Sydney, Melbourne and the Chathams Islands are all reporting that it’s tomorrow and everything is just fine. But it’s still 5pm in Minsk and Istanbul so keep an eye out.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Wait, what if the Zombie Apocalypse happens at the same exact time as the Rapture? I’ll be so confused.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Calgon stock is way up because of their slogan “Take Me Away!”<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n \n \n It’s 530pm in Tehran, we’ll know something soon.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n So kids all over the country are refusing to clean their rooms now, because “rapture so who cares?”<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n FLASH – The world has been ending in Prague now for three hours. Please make a note of it.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n FLASH – The world ended 4 hours ago in Nairobi. Please make a note of it.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Oh no. Watch this. Now I’m worried.<\/span><\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?<\/span>v<\/span>=_penLnDqIlE&feature=related<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \n You mean we all get judged tomorrow? I sure hope Simon Phillip Cowell’s not going to be there; that old-washed-up-never-has-been.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n \/Lenny Bruce is not afraid…\/<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Who wants to go shopping? I hear there’s going to be really good sales after the rapture. And wait, isn’t it already Saturday in Japan for the past couple hours? Hmm…<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Lord, please assure me we’re not all going to go like in a Rebecca Black song! <\/span>http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?<\/span>v<\/span>=CD2LRROpph0<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Wait, I have a question is the Rapture going to be like New Years Rockin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 Eve where it happens first in Japan and then works its way to New Years Rockin’ Rapture, and then a few hours later hits Hollywood? That’s it, I’m heading to Hawaii…<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Uh oh, Christian Heavy Metal Band Stryper doesn’t list any tour dates for the rest of May!<\/span><\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n http:\/\/www.stryper.com\/<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n \n Some Hopi Elders say there’s less to worry about than you think, you know. It’s not your nightmare version of “end of the world,” at all. If you’ve been “good,” it’s more like Spring coming!<\/span><\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?<\/span>v<\/span>=mBPghmuV8SY<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n Oh man, wouldn’t that be funny if it was a typo and some stupid “expert” went and told everyone there’s going to be a rapture when really it was only goin<\/span><\/span>g to be a big ol’ California Condor or something? LOL<\/p>\n